Bits of wisdom...

I had the tv on while folding laundry today and Oprah came on. I don't agree with Oprah on a lot of things, but I heard them talking about favorite life changing moments on Oprah, so I decided to watch. So many good things...pretty much cried the whole show. I posted this on facebook, but thought I'd post these bits of wisdom here for my girls to read one day.
  • One thing that stood out... "When your child walks in the room, does your face light up?" Toni Morrison was talking about how she noticed that she always had her critical or dismissive face on with her children. What a good thing to keep check on...let your children see your joy when they enter the room! I wasn't my children to KNOW how much I delight in them...no question. I tell them all of them time, but I want to make sure I am showing them with my face and my time. : )
  • Another thing..."When people show you who they are, believe them. If they show you they are selfish, mean, etc... believe them. They know themselves much better than you do." -Maya Angelou (Oh how I wish I would have known this sooner). Not that the Lord can't change a person...goodness knows He can and does...but you can't. If someone is broken, you can love them, be kind, help in small ways, but you cannot fix them. I especially want my girls to know this in dating. That it's not their job to stay in an unhealthy relationship for the sake of "helping." Your staying usually does the opposite. I learned this the hard way and had all the lovely baggage to prove it...poor Dasun. : ) I almost didn't know what to do with such a great guy... threw me for a loop. ha!
  • One last thing from the show...When you lose someone you love, you feel like you are betraying them by ever having any joy again...disrespecting them. Dr Phil said, "maybe the betrayal is in focusing on their death instead of the years they were vibrantly alive." I have felt this so many time in the loss of people that I love and care about. A guilt at life moving on, when something tragic has just happened. It just doesn't seem right. I can't imagine how much more I would feel if it hit even closer to home. I wanted to write this down to help me remember that truth. To celebrate their life and not forget to continue to live life with people that are still here, rather than shutting down. I know that's easier said than done, but I think it's important to remind yourself that shutting down isn't the right or best thing for anyone.