For those that don't know my mom, she has been battling breast cancer (that eventually metastasized to her chest wall and liver) for about 2 years now. She is one of the sweetest women alive, she loves Jesus more than anything, and is my best friend.
My mom hasn’t been doing very well. That’s actually a big understatement. She has been very sick to her stomach and having trouble breathing (catching her breath) for a while now. She actually said that she feels worse than the entire time she was going through chemo. She’s extremely tired and in a ton of pain. She called me the other day to tell me that she isn’t sure that she can go on the family trip we’ve been planning. A family trip that means a lot to her. She just kept saying that my dad worked really hard to win this trip (with his work) and that she wanted us to go no matter what. When I protested, she insisted that it was priority and that it was very important to her. She talked about how proud she was of him and how hard these last 2 years have been on him…how she wants this for him. After we hung up, I just broke down as the reality of all of this hit me. I think I have been trying to be in denial about all of this for as long as possible. It’s something I try desperately not to think about, but it’s always right below the surface.
A couple of days later, she met with her doctor had a CT scan to see if they could see anything, and what they saw wasn't good. I worried that it wasn’t because she didn’t call me. I called her later that evening and I could tell that she was hesitant to tell me what they found over the phone. When they last looked, her cancer had already spread into her chest wall and liver, but now it's even more active in her liver and has also spread to her lungs and her vertebrae. When she called me with the news, we both wept and talked for a long time. It was good, but it was also very hard. I wish you could hear the way she praises Jesus through all of this. She’s constantly talking about His goodness, His many blessings throughout her life, and His sovereignty. She’s such a blessing to me.
They put her on some different meds for pain and for nausea, but she still struggled really badly.
Today they met with her oncologist to discuss what else they could do. He said that her liver was really enlarged and that was probably a big reason for her pain and nausea. He said there’s almost no more room in there. He also said that there was about 2 liters of fluid in her lungs, which is also a big part of the problem. They are going to be aspirating her lungs tomorrow, so hopefully that will help. They also want to do more radiation on her liver to hopefully ease her pain (we’re not sure when they will schedule this yet). I know it’s not a magic bullet, but I am thankful for anything they might be able to do to ease her pain.
Our family trip isn't until July 13th (so about 2 weeks), so please continue praying about that. I can't imagine leaving her here if she's not feeling good, but I also feel the need to honor whatever she wants. I can't imagine our trip without her. I tried to encourage her about different things that we could do so that it wouldn't be such a strain on her and told her that we would rather her be with us, even if all she feels like doing is sitting by the pool, but she's still not sure she can. I know that a trip is kind of small potatoes compared to what she's been through, but it's a big deal to all of us, so please pray about that with us. Please also pray for me, that God would give me the grace and strength to be all that she needs me to be for her.
I love you all and thank you so much for being invested in our lives. Thank you for praying with us. I wish you knew how much that means to all of us.
*For those of you that know her and want to talk with her, please know that she would love to hear from you, but she has almost no energy. It’s even hard for her to talk on the phone for any amount of time. If you would like to write her, just e-mail me and I’d be glad to tell you her address.